How To Build A Career (And A Life) That Won't End In Regret

• 2-minute read •
“The only thing I’ve ever failed at is retirement,” lamented a former CEO from a multi-national apparel company. At 57 years old, my former client was facing the hard reality that he wasn’t prepared for life outside his job. That’s because he’d never built a life outside his job.

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A Day In The Life Of A Job Seeker

"Looking for a job is a full-time job." It's a phrase we've all heard, and, for the most part, it's true. Searching for a job that you like, going on interviews, waiting for the call back. It's some of the most emotionally draining and time-consuming work you'll have to do.
One of the most important things one can do while hunting for a new job is to set a schedule and stick with it. For those who are employed in a job that they hate, it can be frustrating to go home and then spend more time trying to find a new job. All you do is go to work and then go home to do more work. But those without a job can find it even more frustrating, because of the endless time spent waiting -- and the diminishing bank balance.

So we asked job seekers for their tips on how they've dealt with the job search and what they've done to provide structure to their day. Here's what they had to say:

The early bird gets the worm: Don't waste your days sleeping. Get up early and set "office hours." By acting as if you're going to work, you're actually getting into a mindset that will put you on task.

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Real World ABCs: Your Code of Conduct for Life

A is for Adult: You’re an adult now for the rest of your life. As an adult, people expect you to look, act, and dress professionally and appropriately. It does matter what people think of you now. Maintaining your individuality is great—and encouraged. But a certain amount of conformity and maturity in appearance and behavior is expected.

B is for Better: Be better than you need to be. You are a work in progress—become a student of life. Be someone for whom good isn’t good enough. Look for new ways of doing things, and don’t be afraid of change. Strive to improve yourself professionally and personally every single day.

C is for Control: Take control of your life; don’t let life control you. Decide what you want. Don’t be wishy-washy. Life is not a dress rehearsal; every decision you make will either move you toward your goals or push you away from them. Make good decisions. As comedian Tim Allen once said, “If you don’t make decisions in life, life will make decisions for you.”

D is for Dream: Dare to dream. Dare to dream the impossible dream. If you dream it, you can create it; it depends on what you’re willing to do. Don’t listen to people who try to destroy your dreams. Most likely, someone tried to spoil theirs and probably succeeded. If you don’t think dreams are possible, ask anyone whose impossible dreams came true. They’ll tell you dreams really do come true.

E is for Enthusiasm: Enthusiasm matters a great deal. Enthusiasm is contagious. Infect the people you work with; create a more pleasurable, meaningful work environment. If you aren’t enthusiastic about what you're doing, consider doing something else. Life is too short to curb your enthusiasm.

F is for Failure: When you fail in school, you are held back; when you fail in life, you are set back. Failure is temporary and is nothing to be embarrassed about. Some of the greatest victories are a result of the worst defeats. Everyone faces personal struggles, failures, and moments of truth. Be a student of your own failure. There’s no shame in failing; the shame is in not trying.

G is for Give: Be known as a giver, not a taker. Make a difference in someone’s life; pay a compliment, do something nice, and volunteer. When you give to simply give, with no strings attached, you always end up getting more back. Try it and see for yourself.

H is for Happy: If you can wake up every day and be happy with yourself, your relationships, and your job, you are living life at its best. I know it isn’t easy; there’s always something to gripe about or problems that get in the way. Abraham Lincoln once said most people are about as happy as they make their minds up to be. Don’t complain; forget about your problems. Make your mind up to be happy.

I is for Invest: Invest in your future now. Just because you’re making money doesn’t mean you have to spend it all. Learn from the millions of people who wish they had invested their money rather than thrown it away. Don’t spend more than you earn; spend less. Stay out of debt and invest in yourself.

J is for Joyfulness: Find joy and meaning in everything you do. Find joy making others joyful; make your day by making someone else’s day. Call the store clerk, the driver, or the receptionist by name, and ask about his or her day. Then watch the response you receive. Reach out to others and make a personal connection; then feel and see joyfulness at its best.

K is for Knowledge: You may be done with your formal education, but some of your best lessons are yet to be learned. Become a lifelong learner; be a student of life. I heard this saying years ago: The more you know, the more you know you don’t know. The older I get, the more I understand it. Know that you don’t yet know all you need to know. Seek knowledge and learn something new every chance you get.

L is for Listen: There is a reason we all have two ears and only one mouth. Use yours proportionately. Listening is more than hearing. You are responsible for getting what someone’s telling you, so listen carefully.

M is for Mistake: Make mistakes; make lots of new mistakes. It’s the best way for you to learn. Don’t be afraid—everyone makes mistakes. Let your mistakes get you down. Take some time to grieve over, not gloss over, what you learned from your mistake. Then get back up, and strive to never repeat the same mistake.

N is for No: Know how to say no. Say no to overindulgence, say no to risky behavior, say no to your bad habits, and say no to the toxic people you meet. Know when and how to say no and mean it.

O is for Opportunity: Opportunity sometimes knocks very quietly. If you listen, you will hear when opportunity knocks at your door. Pay attention to everything you see and hear. Take risks, seize opportunities, and create your own good fortune.

P is for Patience: Like Rome, your career won't be built in a day. Everyone starts somewhere, and everything takes time. Although it may be difficult to understand now, you really will enjoy and appreciate what you have much more if you have to work for it and toward it. Patience really is a virtue. Be patient. The best is yet to come.

Q is for Quality: Put a stamp of quality on everything you do. Seek quality relationships, buy quality clothes, eat quality food, get a quality job, be a quality person, turn in quality work, and think quality thoughts. Remember, it’s not quantity you want; it’s quality. Live a quality life.

R is for Reputation: Your permanent record, for the rest of your life, begins now. Think about what kind of person you want to be known as in your personal and professional life. A gossip? A backbiter? Someone who will step on others to get where he or she wants to be? Think of your reputation as your little shadow, because it will follow you wherever you go. Take care to cultivate a reputation that you can live with for the rest of your life.

S is for Success: Success isn’t measured by the title you have, the money you make, or the value of your possessions. Success is what you make of your life. If you compare yourself to others, you will always fall short. Compare yourself to your goals and desires; you have everything you need to succeed.

T is for Thankful: Be thankful; appreciate the opportunity to work, and do your best, regardless of the position. No job is beneath you. Any job that’s legal is honorable and probably pays you more in a month than people in many parts of the world make in a year. Be thankful for your health, your family, and all the goodness you see every day.

U is for Understanding people: Understand that people matter; all people. Always remember the people who helped you. Always try to help others. Treat everyone with respect, regardless of status or position. As you mature, you will come to realize that it’s not who you know but who you are.

V is for Values: Identify your values; know what’s important to you in life, and never compromise the things you value most. Take a stand for what you believe. If you stand for nothing, you’ll fall for everything.

W is for Willing: Be willing to stay late, come in early, skip going out for lunch, or whatever it takes to get the job done well and on time. Most important, be willing to start at the bottom and work your way up; everyone has to start somewhere.

X is for “X”traordinary: Some things happen for no reason at all, with no warning and no explanation. You can think you’ve got the world in the palm of your hand, but when something unexpected happens, you learn you do not. Never become so smug that you think you’re infallible. You are not. Live your life and go for your dreams, but never take your health, your family, your country, your job, or anything for granted.

Y is for You: You are enough. Don’t focus on those who have more than you; help out those who have less. Don’t feel bad for what you don’t get to do; be glad for what you get. Don’t live your life regretfully; envision a bright future ahead.

Z is for Zoom: Get ready, get set… zoom! Enjoy the ride of your life. There’s a wide-open road ahead of you now; follow the road to your dreams.

10 Steps to Escape the Job World and Create the Life You Really Want

1. GET THE POINT – OF LIFE, THAT IS. How many of us will look back in our old age and wish we'd gone to more meetings or put in more overtime. The point? Despite pressure to "play it safe" by sticking with your day job ("...but dear, you have a good job, you want to be HAPPY too?") you have every right to follow your entrepreneurial dreams. With the realization that life is for living comes the understanding that it is up to you – and you alone – to create the kind of life you really want.

2. GET THE RIGHT PICTURE. Be honest. How much time do you spend bitching about your lousy boss, hellish commute and on and on? As satisfying as a good gripe session is, you're wasting precious energy on the wrong picture. Five minutes a day spent visualizing your ideal work-life and fashioning a plan to get you there will move you far closer to your goal than 30 minutes of complaining about what you don't want. Bottom line: You won't see yourself doing it until you can see yourself doing it.

3. GET CLUED INTO YOUR PASSION. The most successful entrepreneurs love what they do. Haven't quite figured out where your passion lies? Start paying attention to situations or things that grab and keep your attention. Focus less on your skills (what you CAN do) or your resume (what you HAVE done) and instead, try to tune into what it is you really LOVE and WANT to do. What types of things did you love to do as a child? What kinds of characteristics or talents do people compliment you on? What kind of work or lifestyles do you envy? If you don't yet have the knowledge or skills to turn your heart work into a business venture, make it your business to fill the gaps.

4. GET A GRIP ON "IT." In her book Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, Susan Jeffers says IT is what scares you – and ultimately, what's holding you back from going after your dream. Perhaps your fear centers on money, or that you're not "smart enough," or that you'll fall flat on your face. Let's face it – shaking up your life is scary. Yet, "Unless you walk out into the unknown," says Tom Peters, "the odds of making a profound difference in your life are pretty low." So go ahead and indulge in your worst-case fantasy. Then get busy figuring out what steps you can take to prevent it from happening.

5. GET REAL. You've seen the easy money pitches: "Earn $1,000 a week stuffing envelopes in the comfort of your own home." Sounds great, right? Now, snap out of it! Launching your own business takes time and effort. You should also expect a drop in income – at least in the beginning. Now is the time to revisit the ideal life you outlined in Step 2 and ask yourself, "How much do I really want my ideal life? What am I willing to do or give up to get it?" If you are serious about living life on your own terms, the sacrifice will be worth it.

6. GET INFORMED. Change always seems scarier when you have either inadequate, or worse, inaccurate information. Go to the library. Join associations. Talk to people who have started similar businesses. Take classes. Read trade publications. Subscribe to ezines. The more informed you are, the less "risky" the risks become.

7. GET READY. A goal has been described as a dream with a deadline. Take out a calendar. Even if you haven't nailed down all the details, you should still go ahead and set a target date for when you want your "new life" to begin. Besides being a great source of motivation, knowing how much time you have between now and "D-ream day" lets you create a realistic plan for hitting it.

8. GET SUPPORT. Enthusiasm is contagious, but so is pessimism. Avoid the nay Sayers and try to seek out others who share your passion for living life on your own terms. Consider meeting weekly with other aspiring entrepreneurs to generate ideas, share information and help each other stay on track.

9. GET GOING. To keep from being overwhelmed – yet still make headway – break your larger goal down into more manageable steps. Then, no matter how hectic thing get, pledge to take at least one action a day. Even the smallest actions – jotting down a new idea, reading a single page, or making one phone call – start to add up. And, once you actually get the ball rolling, it's hard to stop!

10. GET GRATITUDE. At the same time you're setting your sights on achieving your future goal, be mindful of how much abundance you have in your life RIGHT NOW! Changing course is a journey. Count your blessings and enjoy the ride. When you think about it, it's all we really have.

Boundary Crisis Management Minimizing How a Personal Crisis Affects Your Work Life

We all have those days: Your car won't start, you spill coffee on your shirt, or you get a call from Uncle Sal, who wants to chat even though you're already running late. But by the time you walk through the office doors, you're usually able to focus on the day ahead and leave any personal tribulations temporarily behind.

Sometimes, however, what happens outside of work makes it challenging to be a model of professionalism on the job. Whether it's dealing with a death in the family, divorce or prolonged illness, your ability to focus and interact with others can be impaired. Following are some tactics you can use to help manage during tough personal times.

Take time. Certain events shake you to your core, and even though going back to work may provide a distraction, you probably won't be on your "A" game. You might, for example, have trouble concentrating or overreact to things that are usually all in a day's work. The best way to regroup may be to take some time off, either by using personal days or taking advantage of your company's extended leave policy.

Get the word out. Everyone reacts to personal ordeals in different ways, but it's not uncommon to be overcome with emotion when you least expect it. Make it easier for yourself -- and your colleagues -- by being upfront about your situation. You don't have to offer details; just let people know that you are having difficulties in your personal life. If you're uncomfortable telling colleagues directly, ask your manager or a coworker to let others know the basic circumstances on your behalf.

Remember, awkwardness is the norm. Some of your colleagues will be hesitant to speak to you, and others will want to talk more often than you'd prefer. If you don't want to discuss what's going on, politely let curious coworkers know when they bring up the subject. Your own reactions might be off as well. If you are brusque with your colleague or miss a deadline, apologize and do what you can to rectify the situation.

Know what you need. After a calamitous event, some people want to take on more work, and others need a lighter schedule. Speak to your manager to see what accommodations can be made to allow you time to recover. Also, don't be afraid to ask your colleagues for help. Letting them cover for you on a project for a few weeks isn't nearly as damaging to your career as submitting sub-par work. Most people will be happy to help you out if you're going through a challenging personal time.

You may want to get back to normal as soon as possible after a distressing event. But keep in mind that tending to your needs -- whether by taking time off or adjusting your workload -- and allowing yourself time to recover are the best ways to get both your professional and personal lives back on track.

Maintaining a healthy work:life balance

Is work a rewarding and fulfilling part of your life, or is it something that has grown to take up so much of your time and energy that you resent, rather than enjoy it?

We all have times when we’re especially busy and need to put in extra hours. But, for a healthy work-life balance, that situation needs to be the exception rather than the norm. Modern technology means we’re almost always contactable, which can make it very difficult to switch off from work. Rather than making you more efficient, by not giving your brain a chance to recharge you’re going to gradually become less productive.

So what are the warning signs you need to look out for to check you balance isn’t tipping in the wrong direction?

• You’re regularly working more than 10 hours a day
• you barely make a dent in your workload, however hard you work
• You increase your caffeine or nicotine intake to get you through each day
• You regularly feel physically and emotionally drained during and after work
• You take work home with you in the evening or at weekends
• You suffer from weekly ‘Sunday-night blues’
• You get a reputation for letting down friends at the last minute

Your work should interest you, energise you and give you a buzz. But it should also leave you time to enjoy the other aspects of your life – your friends and family, your hobbies and other interests. We work best when our lives are in balance.

So if you’ve allowed yourself to get into the situation where work is ruling your life and your nearest and dearest have almost forgotten what you look like, how do you get out of the rut?

You don’t have to be the first person in or the last person out every day to be effective. In fact, people who work ridiculously long hours are simply demonstrating that they aren’t able to cope with their job. If you feel like you’re being given too much work, the first thing to do is tell your manager. They are likely to be busy themselves and unless you let them know, they won’t know about you being overworked. You’ll be surprised about how accommodating some bosses can be, as they would prefer to help you rather than have you resign or take time off for stress.

In most cases, 80% of a task can be completed with 20% of the overall effort, but getting that last 20% completed can take a disproportionate amount of time. If you’re continually pushed for time, use your judgement to decide when you can tick off a task rather than getting every last detail perfect. This shouldn’t be an excuse for sloppy work, but it’s important to be able to distinguish between situations where perfection is required and where it isn’t.

Sometimes knowing a place to stop working is an issue, in which case you should look to divide big tasks or projects up into smaller chunks and tackle these one by one.

It’s always good to have something to look forward to. Whether it’s a night out or a two-week holiday, make sure your calendar has something in it that all your efforts at work are focussed towards.

If you regularly take time to recharge your batteries, you’ll cope much better when things are unavoidably busy or stressful at work. An important part of good time management is to take some time off - spending less time at work will make you perform much better when you are there!