Stumbling Over the Same Blocks at Work and at Home: How Our Personal Relationship Patterns Follow Us to The Office

How healthy is your relationship with your career? Do you swear you'll quit your job because it's so frustrating, only to agree to stick it out when your boss promises everything will be different if you'll just fix this one last disaster? Do you love certain things about your job, but do other aspects make it unpleasant a lot of the time? Do you hope for a job that you will love deeply and consistently, that will help you feel satisfied, useful, and productive?

A career path is like long term personal relationships in many ways, and our relationship style comes out in the relationship with our careers in various ways.

1. "I Can't Stand it Here Another Minute...and I've Said That for Years"

What This Relationship Looks Like:

• You know the relationship isn't working but you're afraid to leave.
• You let out frustration by complaining, which means you lose energy that would help you find something better...and you depress yourself and others around you.

Personal Relationship Aspect:

The above description of your relationship with work probably sounds very familiar. You know you should leave, but you feel needed often enough to stay hooked in.

How To Get Out:

• Instead of complaining, take small -- but definite -- steps to find out what you would enjoy doing.
• Ask yourself why you're afraid to leave such an unhappy relationship. Be very honest about this. Think about how you'd feel if you left. Ask yourself what you might get out of knowing that a major source of your problems is "outside" you (as opposed to seeing it as an internal conflict.)

2. "But They Need Me"

What This Relationship Looks Like:

• You get such a powerful ego boost from being needed that you're willing to put up with almost anything.
• You don't believe your needs are as important as your boss', co-workers', and/or customers' needs.

Personal Relationship Aspect:

Just insert "partner's needs" above where it says "boss', co-workers', and/or customers' needs." It probably says a lot about your love life.

How To Get Out:

It's critical to understand why you get such a charge from being needed. You'll have to confront your ego's need for this kind of gratification if you want to have a healthier relationship with your career. If you obey your ego's need to be needed, you may eventually leave your job, but you'll always be capable of being held hostage by someone that says they can't do without you.

3. "I'm In Control"

This was my relationship with work before my transition to a healthier worklife (and homelife.)

What This Relationship Looks Like:

• You prefer to manage all the details of your job, which means you work very long hours and/or are very stressed.
• You get a lot of your self-esteem from employees and/or peers coming to you for answers. This makes you feel in control of your world at work.
• You have a very hard time leaving work at work. You may be avoiding intimacy or stress at home. It's easier to follow the structure of work than the lack of it at home.

Personal Relationship Aspect:

• Women: You have a hard time looking up to your husband as head of the family.
• Men: You may want to control ALL aspects of work and home life. Note: Most religions specify separate, but critically important, roles for each gender. You may not aspire to these, however.
• You want to be in control of your comfort zone at home, and your partner's involvement in the areas where you need to be in control feels intrusive. You're not sure how to collaborate.

How To Get Out:

• Identify when you hold onto projects that could be delegated. Pay attention to how you feel when you are the expert helping others. You have to spot where your ego gets rewarded to change this relationship for the better.
• Having a meaningful life outside of work is your #1 job. Then you'll be able to leave work earlier, delegate more...all the things you know you should be doing.
• Cultivate a relationship with something that transcends you. In 12-Step programs, for example, a Higher Power is a humbling concept to the addict/alcoholic/co-dependent who feels that they control everything in their lives. Devotion to, and gratitude for, an awe-inspiring God or Higher Power is the antidote to the illusion that we can (or should be) in control of most aspects of our lives.

What is your relationship like with your career? Is it similar to your relationships in your personal or family life? That would make sense. Lifelong behavior patterns are usually consistent. Don't forget that you may demonstrate one type of behavior AND it's opposite...like the cliche that two opposites are 'the flip side of the same coin.'

Conclusion:

We don't have a totally different set of relationship problems between our home and work lives. Actually, this is a good thing. Once we get a deeper understanding of how we get in our own way in one area, we are more than halfway to resolving these difficulties wherever they appear in our lives.

Homework - I Mean, Working At Home

Whether downsized, outsourced, or sick and tired of cubicle hell, more people are earning their living by working at home. The work at home industry is booming with a diverse lot of income earning opportunities. People of all skill and education levels can find a niche in this market. And the driving force that allows such an option is the Internet.

Telecommuters

Internet technology has enabled former office rats to do their work at home. Armed with a computer, fax, and telephone, employees from back office data entry to management staff are able to perform part or all of their jobs at home. The telecommuting option is appreciated by workers as it allows them more freedom and control over the work day and more time to spend with families. Companies find that this set up often improves employee morale and productivity.

Net Work

Earning money via the Internet has become an increasingly popular option in the work at home industry. Chances are you know someone who sells merchandise on eBay. Many online merchants are working out of their homes. The Internet offers a wealth of opportunities for writers to earn a living at the keyboard. People with an Internet-based career often start on a part-time basis while working their regular office gig. Once their "web job" takes off, they escape the office grind for full-time work at home.

Home Base

Another option in the work at home industry is a home-based business where you go out in the field to provide services for customers. This is a wide open opportunity - think of any product or service that people need and, viola, you have a business. Again, with the Internet, advertising for your home business is no longer a burden. For example, the senior population is exploding. Start an elder service that helps seniors with light housekeeping, grooming, and transportation. Two career families and busy folks in general equal a business for you running errands such as shopping, chauffeuring kids, and picking up dry cleaning.

You can strike out on your own with these home-based businesses or buy a franchise. Franchises offer a brand name people know and trust along with marketing support from the headquarters office. Start up costs can be out of reach for a lot of people, however, there are hundreds of franchise options in the work at home industry that will fit with small budgets.

Remember, if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Do your research before you plunge into any work at home opportunity. Talk with others who are working at home. Check out franchises or Internet opportunities with the Better Business Bureau. Despite the scam artists, there are thousands of options in the work at home industry and one of them will suit you.

Be a Home-Based Customer-Service Representative

Enhanced call-routing methods, lower hardware costs and better Internet access have combined to create an environment conducive to remote call-center support. That's why almost one-quarter of North American call-center agents currently work from home, according to a Yankee Group survey.

And this trend toward home-based customer service is expected to continue as demand for call centers increases and the cost of remote outposts drops. International research firm IDC predicts the number of home-based customer-service representatives (CSRs) will grow 24 percent annually through 2010.

These home workers perform many of the same tasks as their office-based counterparts: taking orders and selling for online retailers, providing technical support for software and hardware manufacturers and making reservations for travel services.

Sound intriguing? Home-based agents and service providers offer an inside look at this emerging career option.

Outsourcing Without Offshoring

Most home-based agents work as contractors for large call-center managers. These call centers get more business as companies seek to outsource customer service.

Allanna Kelsall, vice president of human resources for Alpine Access, a provider of home-based call-center services, says companies look to call centers for two key reasons: "The most important is the recognition of their own core competencies -- not all companies are able to provide the same quality of service as an outsourced company that is focused 100 percent on the management of agents." Call centers also are better able to rapidly expand their network of agents as needed.

All the Benefits of Home -- But No Health Insurance

Many contract positions don't include benefits like health insurance. But Kim Conner, an Illinois-based CSR, says her job offers other perks.

"I don't have to worry about child care, a work commute or a work wardrobe…I can save more than $1,000 a month," explains Conner, a contractor for virtual call center LiveOps. "Most importantly, I am at home raising and enjoying my children, not missing any of their firsts, and contributing to the household income. It's a great work/life balance."

Personable Self-Starters Wanted

Still, not everyone is cut out for such a gig. "Agents that have the correct skills for working from home include people that are self-motivated, can work without physical interaction with people, and have exceptional online and computer skills -- all of which directly impact their enjoyment and performance on the job as a home-based call-center agent," Kelsall says.

LiveOps CEO Bill Trenchard wants contractors who think and act like entrepreneurs. "The ability to think independently is important, because LiveOps contracts with home-based business owners, and running a successful business requires self-sufficiency and initiative. Reliability is also important, as adherence to the self-set schedule is a driver for receiving more calls -- and that means making more money.

Some home agents' potential earnings are partially based on sales and customer-service performance levels, so being comfortable and confident on the phone is critical. "Having a nice phone voice and a good personality probably wouldn't hurt either," says Kimberly Creque, a Colorado-based CSR with Alpine Access.

And if you're wrestling with whether you should work from home or outside the home, consider Conner's advice: "Apply and work part-time from home so you can get a feel for it before quitting a full-time job."

Make Working From Home Work for You

Most of us, at one time or another (usually on a dark, wet Monday morning), have probably thought how fantastic it would be to work from home. No cold commute, a slow start, no need to get out of your dressing-gown till lunchtime…But what’s the reality of working from home, and is it something that would really work for you? Here are our top tips for things to consider before you take the plunge:

Why Work from Home
First of all, get clear about exactly why you want to work from home. Legitimate reasons include helping you to juggle family commitments such as childcare, allowing yourself to work “smarter” by saving the time of a long journey to work, or allowing you to manage your time better if you spend a lot of time working independently, or often have to travel or work unsociable hours. If you’re self-employed or about to start up your own business, working from home is often a sensible way of keeping your overheads down.

Consider your Children
Employers are increasingly willing to allow employees to work at least part-time from home – it helps to keep their costs down and can be great for staff morale as it shows that your company trusts you to act responsibly. If you have children under the age of 6, your employer is legally required to give serious consideration to a reasonable request to work flexibly. However, that doesn’t mean they have to agree to your request. Increase your chances of a favourable response by setting out clearly the benefits to your employer as well as yourself.

It takes Discipline
Be honest with yourself about how well you are suited to home working. If you’re someone who loves a quick gossip with your colleagues over your morning coffee, you might find it lonely being stuck at home all day on your own. Be realistic about your ability to discipline yourself to get down to work when there’s no one there to “check up” on you: it can be all too easy to find a constant stream of chores and distractions to keep you away from the computer.

Do you have the Space
If you decide to go ahead and take the plunge, you’ll need to make sure that you have appropriate space and systems in place. The spare bedroom is the classic “home office” location, but if you’re short of space you may have to improvise a bit. The key thing is to make sure that you have dedicated workspace that is comfortable and practical. If that means the kitchen table, arrange things so that you can easily clear away at the end of the day – so that you have room to live, but also so that you can switch off from work.

Break Time
Drawing a boundary between work time and leisure time is often one of the most difficult problems for home workers. It’s all too easy just to check your email one more time or make one more phone call, and before you know it, it’s 10pm. Put a routine in place: start work at the same time every day if possible, plan proper breaks throughout the day, and be disciplined about your finishing time. Take a break for lunch and, if possible, get outside and get some fresh air, or at least take some time away from your desk to do something completely different. This will help to keep you fresh and focused.

Family & Friends
You’ll need to be strict with friends and family, too. When you work from home, people can fall into the trap of assuming that you’re always available to chat, go shopping, or help them out. If friends phone for a gossip, tell them that you’re working but you’ll call back when you have your lunch break/at the end of the day. Be prepared to be robust about this: one of the most frustrating things about working from home is that other people sometimes assume you don’t really have a “proper” job – don’t reinforce their prejudices by not taking your work time seriously.

Stay in Touch
Put in place systems to keep you in touch with the office. A daily phone call and/or a weekly meeting will help to keep you involved and make sure you don’t get forgotten about. Try to meet up with colleagues socially from time to time so that you’re kept on the inside track of the office politics and what’s really going on.

Working from home can bring enormous benefits, helping you to juggle other demands, work more efficiently and reduce the stress of commuting. The secret to making it work for you is to be clear about the potential benefits as well as the drawbacks, and to put in place systems and procedures to make sure that you can work as efficiently and effectively as you would in the office. Then all you have to do is work out what you’re going to do with all the time you save!