Getting out of tough situations can be difficult. When you say no, you sometimes put your job at risk. So how to do it? Here are typical workplace dilemmas you can solve by learning to craft your rejections in a positive light:
Leading a newbie. Last year's lazy intern drove you crazy. You're not up to taking chances this year. San Francisco-based business etiquette expert Syndi Seid suggests the sandwich technique. Say something nice, give the bad news and end with something good.
"You could say: 'It's so nice you thought of me for this project. In all candor, I'm so busy with all the work I have, I'm just curious if there's someone else who could do a better job,'" Seid told IBD.
If there's a project you'd rather work on, now's the time to bring it up, she says.
Refusing a promotion. It sounds crazy not to want a boost. But maybe the longer hours wouldn't jibe with the rest of your life. Shawna Schuh, a workplace etiquette expert, says it's crucial to show how much you appreciate it. "Say 'That offer is an honor; given the value of it, I must take time to give its due,'" Schuh told IBD. "It doesn't mean you're going to say yes. I would turn it back to them and say maybe someone else can do a better job."
Skipping the party. Experts say you must make every effort to attend work get-togethers. It's part of your job to get along with co-workers and get familiar with clients. Refusal is an option if you really can't make it or you know certain functions are glorified drinking parties.
Schuh says it's OK to ask your boss the purpose of the gathering.
"Be upfront," she said. "Ask 'Can we clarify something? Is it vital to secure our business that I attend?'"
Forgoing the fundraising. Seid says that when you can, pitch in when the hat is passed around the office. Letting go of a couple of dollars even if you don't care about the target is just the nice and easy thing to do. If you're turned off by the constant appeals, set the tone at the start, Schuh says.
"Ask 'How do we do it here? Is $10 for everyone enough for all the events? Or can I get gifts on my own?'" she said. "Show that you're willing to go along with the group, but that you want to make sure it's fair." Or say you already give to a number of charities.
Referral angst. A co-worker you don't know well asks you to offer good words as she tries to land a new job. Seid's advice: "Talk about what you know. 'Although we've never worked closely, I have found her to be a nice person.'"
Avoiding a fuss. Your co-workers want to throw you a birthday party, but you'd rather not make a big deal about it. Here's what to do: Thank the organizers for being so thoughtful. Then suggest they give to a charity in your name instead.
Limiting your exposure. Your boss asks you to use your car for work. The first time, go ahead. The next time, tell him your car is not insured for work purposes.
Shooting outside. The office folks ask you to join a weekly basketball game between departments. You just don't want to socialize so regularly with co-workers. Consider monthly games. Then go and have fun.